I was talking with a sad mother today who was missing her son who got married. She reminisced about past holidays of stringing the garland popcorn, pre-school gifts he made her, like the hand print in clay, school day projects of salt maps, and those freezing football games of jumping up and down, always praying he wouldn’t get hurt.

I asked her to tell me something she for sure loved about being a mom. “I was known as the Martha of birthday parties.” I loved the looking in catalogues to plan and have the kids and parents over to celebrate his birthday every year, themes of pirates, paintball, bowling, horseshoes, triathlons, and game shows.

She was a hero to mom’s who called for help in how to put together a fun, at home, birthday party. It wasn’t her career. She already had one of those. It was her playtime.

When I asked her if she wanted to keep doing that for others, she was instantly clear, “no more. I do it for my husband or my party gatherings for adults through out the year, maybe two a year.”

I continued, “So what do you need these days?” After brainstorming what might give a light of hope, she chose hobbies.

She needs a list of hobbies to add to her list. She wanted to know what women do with their extra time.

So let’s begin a list here. You can add on in the comments below.Photography, knitting, collages, skydiving, travel, baking, book clubs, animal rescue volunteering, soup kitchens, making cards for the year, art classes, dancing, singing, mentoring, costumes for school plays, cooking for teachers,Docent, kayaking, hiking, skiing, yoga, sewing, local politics, storytelling at a bookstore, flea markets, gardening, cooking classes, art galleries, shopping , astronomy, computer time, writing, decorating , adult classes at colleges, jazz clubs, karaoke, collecting dishes, skirts from scarves, beading, designing jewelry, making purses from boxes, promoting artists, designing webs, game night, tennis, golf, herb gardens, downloading music on ipods, watching movies , theater at local neighborhoods, emailing jokes and inspirational quotations.

So there is a beginning list to help us all have some fun.

We get by with a little help from a friend!

Please add your ideas to the comments below. Happy Holidays, Empty Nesters!

Take care,Natalie

Posted by Natalie Caine at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Empty nest had an advantage today, quiet and no other person’s schedule to follow.

I felt tired this Friday and decided to rest in my imaginary retreat center.

Sofa, blanket, and a small fire, dropped me to my secret meditation place.

I close my eyes; feel my breathing, slowly, stomach expanding and contracting, not my shoulders lifting up to my ears, nor my chest pushing to breathe. I had to learn this way of breathing. Slow breath brings me deeper into quiet.

My place is a meadow with scattered wild flowers that I walk through until I come to a glistening, circular pond. I lay down in the beauty and softness that holds me.

Today I call in my healer guide to be with me. I simply need to rest and receive her healing. She knows more about what I need than I do and at the same time, I ask for calmness, healing energies, and openness to receive wellness. Collaboration feels good for me. I don’t get stuck on if the words make sense or are just right. I ask for healing.

I don’t have to do anything. I rest there. I continue to practice my slow stomach breathing.

As the hurriedness of deadlines, picking fun presents, wrapping, cooking, decorating, mailing, cleaning, inviting, and kids returning for a long winter break, I need to remind myself to make time for my practices.

The energy of the holidays will provide the pusher to come out and I want to balance with the emptiness to have healing time.

What practices have you tried?

Posted by Natalie Caine at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)