January 2007 Archives

Empty nest brings gifts and curses. In the last weeks, I have received emails and phone calls from parents feeling sad. One mom said she felt like an empty restaurant with so much good food to serve and no customers.

In the beginning weeks when kids go back to their lives, parents feel a relief that the mess is over, the late nights have ended, but they also miss the vitality and activities shared with someone they deeply love.

When we hug our kids goodbye we might feel sluggish, sad, and sensitive to the emptiness and at the same time glad to have our own routine and inner voice back without the interruptions of kids and their friends.

The older I get the more I am living with the realization that says, yes this is true AND so is that…paradoxes. It’s not easy living with the word AND rather than but.

I think it is ok to take some time to meander during a transition. Take time to simply do nothing and notice what you are noticing and hearing in your head. Are you hard on yourself for feeling nothing or wanting to do nothing?
How long does that last, a day, a week? Do you call a friend or find a comforting web to post a note? How do you care for yourself when you simply aren’t happy?

Branching out to you,
Natalie

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am taking time to reflect about 2006 rather than writing about my plans for 2007. I love climbing into bed and looking at my old planner as a reminder of what I did last year. I use it as a daily diary that I can return to and reflect.

My daughter, nephews and some of their friends are still home. I am back to work, but adjusting my schedule to allow time to enjoy them. I won’t be seeing them again until May.

Each year, I add one new thing that I want to learn and this year, my intention (intention being the operative word) is to add a stretching class, since I know my body would thank me for it. Getting myself to do it is another story. I like yoga, and hiking is great, but the thought of committing to a stretching routine just doesn’t thrill me.

I think changes are easier to make when I know what my motivation is for the new behavior. I am more successful when I know that my goal is to feel healthy and energized rather than fatigued or stiff necked from hours spent at the computer.

I don’t fight the aging process; I actually tell myself how happy I am to still be here and enjoying my life. Although when the younger crowd is in my house, I can’t help but notice the difference in our energy levels.
My favorite comfort is to tell myself, “Well, this is as good as it gets today and that is good enough.” After all, that’s what I would tell the kids when they had the blues.

Here’s to a fresh start filled with surprise love notes, yellow daisies in the kitchen, a cup full of appreciation, and the ability to live in the mystery while trusting the journey.

Natalie