Mother’s Day is in two weeks and I think it will be my mother’s last. Lasts…. I remember my daughter’s senior year of lasts, but this really is lasts.
The older I grow the more I realize grieving is not something to get over or to deal with so one can move on…grieving is ongoing with new depths of feelings. One loss brings up past losses that drop tears and quickly shift the priority of my “to do list”.
I can barely type the word death. My mom’s wishes and details seem to be in order since we have talked about her wants but it doesn’t matter to me now. I just notice how I don’t want to get closer at times because I would miss her more and at the same time I want all the time I can have with her. Discomfort for me and still I want to show up with her.
Surprise stories have come from her simply by sitting with her or talking on the phone….dating and her marrying my dad who died eleven years ago…Writing that number seems false….it can’t be eleven years…feels like two.
Mother’s Day brings memories for all of us. I wonder how the LASTS….affected you?