Yes, it is true that even when you are preparing for the holidays tears will fall. So what’s wrong with tears, I asked my empty nest group? What’s wrong with crying about being alone or not having your dreams come true? Who wouldn’t cry over disappointments and loss and changes? Who taught us it is not ok to cry? Are we really going to be punished as adults for crying over spilt milk? Loss is loss… sadness is sadness….disappointment is disappointment. Loved ones we want to see sitting at our thanksgiving table may not be there this year…
Life is complex, full of paradoxes. The younger internal parts of us want life to be one way or the other. We get uncomfortable with loneliness, losses, not knowing what to do or how to change what is stressing us.
In my empty nest telephone sessions and groups we all seem to come back to this healing medicine:
1. Practice being in the moment, not in the past of how it was and not ahead of ourselves with thoughts of what if…..?
2. Learn what nurtures us and how to treat ourselves well. Life changes us and therefore, our needs and dreams change.
Isn’t it a challenge to not have a rule book or an accurate map quest?
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Empty Nest Support Services