Talking with parents across the country, working or not, married or single, all say it is a relief to know their feelings are normal.
The fear of their children leaving spins parents into worry about safety, friendships, money, happiness, inclusion, loneliness, but mostly, into the reality that the role parents love living is coming to a drastic change. The grieving journey and opening to new parts of self begins for all parents, but uniquely for each.
Parents are entering the unknown without a timeline of relief and their children are leaping into more independence without the safety of their parents in the next room.
This time of year, more and more children are getting rejection letters from the colleges they wanted. I love the idea that some high schools are allowing them to bravely post the rejection letters at school in order to belong to a group that shows all of them are dealing with the embarrassment, as they call it, and the reality that college is more competitive now. That it is, “normal” to get a rejection letter, which for some, is the first time they have ever experienced that feeling.
Both parents and their children want to feel “normal” and have a place to vent and be inspired.
Change is a paradox of hopeful new beginnings and a range of challenging losses.
We all get surprised when we hear other parents are being yelled at by their children due to fears or at the last minute, children call saying they aren’t coming home. They want to be with their friends. Feels like rejection and rudeness, but is actually so normal…..not that normal means you don’t get to have your feelings nor do you not get to talk about it.
What have you been experiencing these days with changes? Post your comments and add to the community of empty nesters who appreciate not being alone on the journey of changes
Take good care,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
