February 2009 Archives

I have read and received phone calls about crowded houses.

Has someone moved back in? Are they are on their way?  A grandmother called me saying her daughter and grand child need to come home due to job loss.  A college son will be moving home for the summer until he finds work. His dream of graduation and right to work isn't looking promising, but he keeps those applications circulating.

Change happens. Do you feel prepared emotionally and physically?  For me, I am always building my inner resources. My resource kit includes stress reduction, planning fun times, and practicing communication negotiating skills. My daughter came back home. Surprise. She is out of the house, again. Yes, there are times I miss the spontaneity of a chat and walk together, but I do love my own rhythm that I worked to re- invent.

Do you need to prepare for a crowded house, again? How are you doing?

Natalie
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Reinventing yourself seems to be more common these days despite the economy.  Speaking with mothers and fathers, I am hearing focused, driven parents who want something now for themselves.

We all can relate to that wanting.  These are the shifts they have made in their daily living:

(1) Joining a gym and getting a trainer to jump start them and a friend to be accountable to

(2) Taking classes online like business and art therapy

(3) Volunteering as mentors with children and adult literacy

(4) Traveling in their RV across the USA

(5) Joining social networks online

(6) Taking organic and going green classes at their community centers

(7) Using Skype to talk with their grandchildren and friends across the country and then turning those talks into scrapbooks as gifts

(8) Having Saturday breakfast at their local cafes to meet people

(9) Joining other artists to share their art in their homes and have an open gallery weekend

(10) Pot luck dinners and wine tasting with people they haven't called in years

(11) Neighborhood watch meetings

(12) Traveling to see old friends from high school

(13) Clearing the clutter and having an organization like the VA pick it up for them

(14) Doing a part time business that they love, like calligraphy invitations

(15) Docent at a museum

(16) Researching where to move in order to be part of a walking community

(17) Renting out a room for income

(18) Starting their dream business out of their home

What would you choose to do that people would call you crazy? Think back to what you loved doing as a child and before you had children.  What would you choose to do for a first step?

Have fun,
Natalie Caine, M.A.
Email natalie@empytnestsupport.com
800-446-3310 Los Angeles time
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I know the news is depressing. Still, parents are asking if it is a good time to go back to work.

Yes. Start the process.
1. List what would be fun to do part time or full time
2. Interview someone in the field asking, "What frustrates you during the day. What has surprised you about this career?"
3. Brush up on your skills, like computer class, photo shop, writing skills, communication skills. Use your public library for resources, researching online, classes online, and your community college or high school.
4. Get a professional to help you with your resume. You are worth the money spent.
5.  Enjoy an upgrade on your make up and clothing by visiting the stores and noticing what is on the racks, accessories. Ask one of the artists at the make up counters to do your make up for free. Let them know you are heading back to work.
6. Polish those nails and toes in a light color. Get your hair shaped.
7. Be confident by talking to yourself in the mirror at home. Address your worst fear question, "What have you been doing?"  Let them know you have always wanted to work in.......but family came first and now you are excited to be part of their team. Tell them what you can offer after you researched their company.
8. Don't fake your dates on the resume or lie.
9. Really listen during the interview and pick up cues by what they are saying and asking you. Then, ask them a question, for example, "What three skills would you want an employee to have in order to make your days easier?" People attend more to a short story so give them one about you. "I use to be the family organizer for my sisters and brothers. My mom told me I would be a great mom because I kept everyone together.  I kept those skills strong during raising my three children, to a point where the talk at my children's school was, if you want that job done today for the library fundraiser, call Kate."
10. Talk to yourself like a coach would talk to you. Be realistic. You will be nervous. Just keep going. Ask people for help.

You never know who you will meet along the way.

Let us know how the journey is going.

Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
800-446-3310 - Los Angeles
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"To look at something as though we had never seen it before requires great courage." Henry Matisse

Isn't that a fun idea? I think I will try that when I am in my winter garden. I planted tomato seeds in tiny containers in my garage, covered in saran wrap. They are just sprouting. It is too cold for them to be outside under the dirt. 

My friend and I were talking about how much fun it is to put seeds in the dirt and then check on them to see what is growing. I never am without amazement when something green is popping up through the soil. Cost...three dollars...love that, too.

I am learning how to grow thirty seeds in a four inch container and then separate them when it is time to launch them outside.  Sound familiar, parents? Grow and launch!

Nature is our consistent teacher.

What will you look at as if you had never seen it before?
PS. This morning I found an empty orange shell that the squirrel munched and carried behind a clay pot. So, again, what will you look at today as if you had never seen it before?

Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
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