September 2009 Archives

Here is my update.  I just had an inspiring meeting with the director of the organization, JUNIOR ACHIEVEMENT.  WOW...  I am sending a big thank you, Adam, for showing me around and introducing me to your enthusiastic staff and much needed program for our youth and parents.

Second update is - I am on the countdown to presenting at Rancho La Puerta Resort and Spa.  Very excited! You can wish me luck and hope that my camera works so I can share photos with all of you.  I am not the techie woman. I will be cooking with top chef winner, Rick Bayless; recipe to follow when I return.  I love to cook and eat so what a treat for me. I have been following his recipes for years and eaten in his Chicago restaurant. Dreams do come true because I will be chopping chilies with Rick. Keep your dreams active in your heart and mind. Don't you think it is worth it to dream?

My presentation is LIFE IN TRANSITION, WHAT NOW?  We empty nesters are living the climb up the mountain and down over and over, hopefully enjoying a view along the way.

So what has surprised you about the beginning of your empty nest experience and the months/years of being in the emptiness? Comment here or email me, natalie@emptynestsupport.com
Take care,
Natalie

Well here is my update. 

Next week I am headed to present LIFE IN TRANSITION, NOW WHAT? I will be at Rancho La Puerta Resort and SPA...yes, lucky me, along with Rick Bayless, top chef winner.  I have never been there so you know what it is like when you are preparing for a trip...exciting, curious, long lists, travel check list, house clean up, warning my sweet Sophie cat that I am leaving but I always come back...remember telling our children that one???

I hope to share with all you what I experience...wish I could take you with me.  I will try and get photos to share and of course I will have a story, at least one or two of what I experienced.  So what is up for YOU next week?  More and more I realize setting a goal big or little is fun and that it actually helps you get down that road.  I made many calls before I got this goal of presenting there.  Yes, I do love to persevere...that is the easy part for me.

So review what is easy for you and what is a bit of a drag and still go for it...I even cleaned out a disgusting cupboard last night just to release some energy.  WOW that felt so great... an overdue goal.  We don't always meet our goals. We do always learn something on the way.

I want to remind you to review what is wonderful about you, daily, as well as the challenges you are feeling. I know goodbyes just happened and that is an ouch.  We are all here to hold each other's hand so that no one goes through this major transition alone.  So again, what is up for you next week?

Can be any idea...reviewing your relationships...exploring a new part of town, meeting a friend for coffee, thinking about taking a class, sipping a new tea? 

Take care, Natalie

POST WHAT IS UP FOR YOU NEXT WEEK right here or email me, natalie@emptynestsupport.com

Natalie Caine M.A.

Empty Nest Support Services

(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188

On the web www.emptynestsupport.com

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What was your response?  Write it down so you don't forget. Now, after writing whatever popped in, what does that bring up for you?

I have had parents across the country tell me they feel uncomfortable giving to themselves. I think it is like a muscle we forgot we could use.  So, just step towards  one thing you can feel that you like.

-  Taking a short drive.
-  Buying flowers
-  New tea or coffee to have at home
-  Music
-  Seeds to plant
-  Hitting golf balls

You get the idea.

Sure, money is tight; you are tired, non -motivated today....so ask someone to help you.
You would help them.  Shut off the YES BUT, in your head or the HAMSTER LIKE BEHAVIOR who spins over and over. Do something great for you.  Is that ordering in food, watching a movie on TV, or sitting in the park watching the dog trainers?

We forget we might enjoy something one day and not another. Give something a try. Leave if you aren't in the mood and thought you were. Visit a bookstore, library, or Apple store.

"Self-care is never a selfish act---it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift on earth that I was offered to give to others. Anytime we can listen to true self, and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves, but for the many others lives we touch." Parker Palmer

Give yourself a retreat at home. What nurtures you?  Begin to practice being and not having to accomplish anything today or responding to what someone wants you to do, or thinks is best for you...YOU ARE BEST FOR YOU, by getting to know who you are today and what matters to you right in this moment.

Take very good care,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
818-763-0188 Los Angeles, Ca.
Featured in Time Magazine, Lifetime Radio for Women, Washington Post, radio, and more

Change is inevitable. Get ready. Get support.
No one needs to go through a transition alone.
www.emptynestsupport.com

I just want to remind you, love wins every day.

 
I remember one freshman day, I had the "want me's."  So I called my daughter, "I know I am being a pest today trying to reach you and you are busy. I am fine.   I just want to hear your voice or get a text, so could you give it to me.  I am having a tantrum here on the office floor because I miss you.  Can't you stop me with an email or instant message or call?  I think you can.  I think you can.  Just do it. Then you will be done with me, for now.

 She left a voice message, laughing because she knows my humor.  I got up off the floor . I was fine.  I needed that love and I asked for it. Who wouldn't have the want me's when you love and miss someone?

Do you know the book and song by Robert Munch, "I'll love you forever; I'll love you for always; as long as you're living my baby you'll be?"

I still sing it to my daughter, Rachael.  She is in her 20's.  Actually, I don't know if I have the songwriter/author correct but I do have the melody and words freshly in my mind. I have been singing it to her since pre-school.

Love your children no matter if they are heading up the road to adulthood.  They need your love. They love knowing you have their back no matter what.

At this cycle of change, it doesn't mean..ok see ya. I will step away and not connect unless you want me to.  I will not be a helicopter parent.  You have wings now, so fly.

It means the love is not lead in the same as your past role with your children.  A new dance that includes stepping on each other's toes is on the floor now.  Not that we haven't crushed each other before, but the surroundings and inner and outer dialogue has definitely changed.
You know this and this is part of why the tears fall. They fall whether you like it or not. Go ahead and cry.  They won't freak or they might, as I know my daughter doesn't like when she sees me cry, but it doesn't destroy her. My tears never made her want to care-take me or change her mind about the direction she needed to drive.

I just want to remind you, love wins every day.

Get some love. Give some love. Rest and then reach for your wish list.

Take very good care of yourselves,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
Featured in Time Magazine, Radio, Better Homes and Gardens and more...take a look at the articles on her website: www.emptynestsupport.com

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