What are your excitements, empty nesters, and concerns about your children coming home for the holidays or winter break?
Being a parent and speaking with thousands of parents in and out of this country I think UNREALITISTIC EXPECTATIONS dampen the mood.
It isn't easy not falling back into our roles as nurse, chef, therapist, banker, baby-sitter, and house keeper, etc. You get the picture. So keep what matters to you, in focus. Don't change your plans in the hope they will be home for dinner or join all of you for the movies. Check in with them by keeping your communication short and flexible. They listen and you listen. Sounds simple but when we have wants it gets COMPLEX. We love parenting and we love time to self care.
How to hold both the excitement and concerns? Stay realistic that they have other people to see, different tolerance and sleep patterns than you do. FOR EXAMPLE, they rarely think things like: Oh that is too far to drive, IT is already dark and I don't want to go back out again, I can't stay up that late because I have to get up early for work.......
Just reminding yourself that they aren't who they were before they left home and you aren't either keeps the moments in a healthy perspective.
So what is exciting and what is concerning you as you make your shopping list, count the days for the big hug, sparkle the house and dust their room?
Let us know what you are thinking about!
Take care,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
818-763-0188 Los Angeles
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