February 2011 Archives

A parent shared with me that if she could have one wish it would be to not think so much.  We asked her what she would put in place of thinking so much.  Her response "I have no idea because it is all I seem to do...think and think and think."  Each of us gave each other a practice for the week.

You can guess what she received. TO NOTICE WHAT YOU ARE DOING WHEN YOU AREN'T IN YOUR BUSY HEAD." She keeps a journal of her weekly practices. Next week she will share even if she says, I STILL DON'T KNOW.

I have noticed we think we need an answer to our wonderments, problems, and unknowns.  We are practicing not having an answer for now.  We like trying something we haven't because honestly, we get bored easily.

Here is what we are going to do with our wish:  We wish to have it be OK for now to not have a direction, a solution, a response.

One woman shared that she actually tells herself when stressed by too much thinking and not knowing what to do to soften her frustrations; she says to herself, "I am not going there right now.  I am right her walking my dog.

That is where I am and where I want to be right now.  I am not going there right now."
Each of us finds ways to shift our habits and allow new behavior to practice.
What behavior would you wish to shift right now? What do you think you would put in place of that behavior that took your time?

Share with us.  Do you remember that line, "If you tell, I'll tell."  I don't know where I heard that but it popped up today. Sounds young, doesn't it.

Take good care,
Natalie

Visit my website for upcoming workshops and retreats.
www.emptynestsupport.com

Call for a private consultation on the telephone or in person.
818-763-0188 Pacific Time
Email me with your questions natalie@emptynestsupport.com

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Meredith, a go getter woman, and person who also crawls when confused, asked me," What do I do when I feel overwhelmed?" Whether single, student, married, boomer, or empty nester, transitions pause us.

I asked her what she has done in the past when stuck?  When you allow the person you are with to explore him or herself, while you stay present with them, they find some choices. Trust gets broken. Hope melts. Minds get cluttered.  It happens to all of us. We go, feel the fire of creativity and success, and then something enters and we collapse.

What we want are choices and the first step.

     1. What I need today is...
     2. How can I make that happen...
     3. Who can I call to support me when I have blinders on...

Don't you wish you had someone to be with you when you are ready for change?  Who would that be?

Why wouldn't you extend to them?

With one client, who always feels her to do list is piled and she easily gets distracted, I stood by her computer while I had her write what she really wanted to get done and what she had to get done no matter what. In the subject of the email to herself, I had her write the next day, Wednesday.  It took seven minutes. When she entered her office the next morning, Wednesday, she had her plan on her computer.  She was relieved. She got going.

No one needs to go through implementing changes without support.

What has worked for you and what needs support today? Do you not know where to begin?

Let me know how I can help you on or off the phone, in your city or mine.

My peace of mind and success is partially here because of my desire, my realistic expectations of myself, my tenacity, and my knowing who I am and am not. I ask for help even when my face turns red from embarrassment.

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
818-763-0188 Los Angeles
www.emptynestsupport.com

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The Grammy Awards with Mick Jagger and Barbara Streisand, where the audience stood and shouted their love, is being talked about along with Lady Gaga and the women who sang the opening, honoring Aretha.

Aretha Franklin, in warming white, appreciating her fans and award.

Congresswoman Gifford is speaking with her husband, Mark. Miracle.

Prince William and Kate are igniting anticipation of beauty and royal weddings as they chat about their upcoming wedding.

Love is saying you're sorry and never too late as noted by Ali and Ryan.

Making each other laugh while chatting is President Obama and The First Lady, Michelle's, romance longevity.

What is yours?

Are you hopeful for conversations with a new partner?  Will you send love notes to your children and grandchildren or phone calls?

Mary, 71, shared, "I lost my husband this year and he was my only partner. He made me a jelly sandwich and put words of love on the plate for Valentine's Day."  I don't imagine that from anyone, now.  I do love talking about us.

Janet, 45, shared," Hubby isn't romantic, but he looks right at me when he talks and I just love that."

Brian, 52, shared, "I am the romantic. She is the get it done, worker bee, but not in the bedroom. Her favorite place to chat with me is in the car so I take her for long rides and then pull over."

Lady Antebellum, "I NEED YOU NOW." Are you comfortable needing someone?

Oh the proud parents watching their children sing at The Grammy's, brought back memories of parents watching their children perform in a recital at school.  Who doesn't want to talk about that time of life?

Many stories of conversations that connect and ignite another conversation.  Debbie, 57, told me her best conversations these days are with her howling brown and white dog that leaps on her bed and pulls her outside. She hopes for better conversations and still believes in love and marriage. Well, she might skip the marriage and just love the love.

Here's to my hope that you love and be loved, first with self with the reminder that loving self is igniting and a gift.

Have fun,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com

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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.

Parents, Empty Nesters, and Boomers ask me, "With all the stories you hear, do you still believe in real love?"  Real.  How do you define real?  The surprise is there are secrets couples live because they don't feel they have a clan that would understand. 

They are ok with their choice of what real love is for them.  If it works, it works. You have heard a list of how love works well: listen, give, surprise, get off the routine wheel, be happy.

Yes, I for sure believe in love. Maybe you want to make yourself a love card and keep it visible.

Honestly, it does take courage and a shift of what you tell yourself to keep love vibrant.  No matter what, trust that love is real and available. How do you do that?  Have the courage to grieve what hasn't been available and keep going for what matters to you in your relationship and the ones you hope to sit beside.

Love is available in many circles of your precious life.  Look there. Ordinary days are gifts of love. We don't need fireworks to feel alive or valued.  Who told you  what love is and isn't?  What do you tell yourself about love? 

Quick story. I met a vibrant women beyond her sixties who told me love for her is being able to really SEE things in her garden, photo them, and make collages.  If someone comes to see it, great, if not she loves her garden and keeps it growing. 

An empty nest mother said, "I get misty remembering the school Valentine boxes and cookies I helped make for her son's class, but really, I would rather go to my Pilates class, now."  Memories ignite or bring us down.  You choose.

May you love the life you have and pass that joy.

Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com

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What's one of your earliest childhood memories?

I asked a group of Boomers, Empty Nesters, and College grads that question and they asked me, "WHY?" I didn't want to answer that at first because it loses the spontaneous thought so I said I will tell you later. So just let anything pop in your mind now.

I know you are thinking, "I can't remember."  So fast forward to any younger memory than today.  Did something bubble up? 

I remember skipping rocks on the Ohio River behind my house.  It took me a long time to get the skip.  Pride when I saw it three times skim across the water. I rarely do that but imagine I would laugh and that I would remember how to make the skip.

I ask that question because we have a habit of focusing on  what's not working in our life or not getting done rather than the happiness or what is good enough for now.

Remembering fun feeds your choices today. Ally, shared and said I could share with you,"Oh ya, I use to love to roller skate. Maybe I could do it again if someone goes with me."

What would you do again if someone went with you?

I met an inspiring 74 year old woman this weekend who I thought was 62.  I asked what she did for fun and she said, "I sing at open mic night once a week."  Wow. She added that she misses hiking but substitutes chi gong and long walks.

The thing I notice from my clients and workshops is we all think too much rather than taking the leap to just do something we are thinking about doing. 

So here's to the love of picking something to do and doing it.

Natalie
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188

Los Angeles, CA
Natalie@emptynestsupport.com
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com

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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.

Just back from Spark and Hustle conference with Tory Johnson in Los Angeles.

Tory, thank you for inviting me to participate on the panel "Concept to Cash".

Hustle with a heart is how I felt driving home.  Tips and strategies from experts with a real heartfelt presentation from Julie and Jack Nadel. I cried as Tory gifted them with yellow roses and a silver frame.

Tory was always available to advise and connect with the participants.  People left feeling motivated, and filled with concrete tips of what to do next, as well as, further down their passion road in order to keep their spark lit.  Her staff stood tall.

Don't miss this opportunity during the year to get to a Spark and Hustle conference in order to be educated on how to make money at what you love.

Thank you Tory,
Natalie

PS - Thank you Polkatots Cupcakes for this delicious cake and the coconut cupcakes.

Boomers and Empty Nesters, I am speaking at Spark and Hustle on how to turn your idea into a business. Women are starting up new businesses more than men.

Tory Johnson is taking Spark and Hustle tour across the country.  I hope you catch the conference in your home town. I will blog about the conference.

I for sure needed to up my courage and self-compassion when I launched Empty Nest Support Services. I am so passionate about passing on what I learned in living my life transitions either by choice or circumstances.  I did not need to be the best. I did need to be who I am, and gather new inner and outer resources, as well as,  tell the stories of how I went through life transitions since a young child and pass on other stories from grief to happiness.

Knowing your audience/market by researching and getting feedback from your clients' matters.  Key is to be open to change.  Your market will change and you need to be flexible and shift when you discover a different road is calling you.

One example in my business is when the recession hit, I went to re-editing my book and feeding more content on my website and websites that I write for monthly.

You will have days that your business is moving just how you want it and others where you feel rejected and collapse.  That is normal.  Make time to meet with colleagues to inspire and support you.  Go to lunch, chat on the phone, email.  That support is different than support from your partner or friends.

Keep going.  Sounds trite.  I think people quit too soon due to unrealistic expectations and lack of support.

More later...off to the conference I go.  I am happy to share with you what I learn over these three days.

So email if you are interested, natalie@emptynestsupport.com

Up your courage and get support to turn your passion into a business.

Natalie
www.emptynestsupport.com

Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com

Featured in TIME MAGAZINE, NY TIMES, LIFETIME RADIO FOR WOMEN, LA TIMES, USA TODAY, WASHINGTON POST, BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS

Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.