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From 4 Kids Under 5 to Two in College and Two in High School

Someone once said that when you have kids, "the days are long and the years are short". Wow, who can relate to that? Everyone says, "Enjoy them while they are young, as the time will fly?" Of course that never would apply to me, right? Wrong. Our children went to a lovely little Christian elementary school, and I never thought I would have a 6th grader, as they looked so big. Now the 6th graders look small and we are looking at Empty Nest straight in the eye in a few short years.

Nearly two years ago (September 2004), we drove our eldest son to a nearby college to live in the dorm. For some reason, I didn't walk out of the dorm crying. I guess the fact that he came home every weekend to have his wash done and have a good meal or two helped. Then last August 2005, we drove our two oldest to their first apartment, near the college they would attend. What a difference a year makes. The weeks leading up the event, I thought I was ok, until one afternoon I walked into our favorite family shopping store and broke into tears. The days of the whole family jumping into the car and coming to this store were over.

Wouldn't you think that with two children still safely in the nest, that I wouldn't have these empty nest feelings? After all, they were only 45 minutes away. The following months, I think my friends were afraid to talk to me, as I was easily teary-eyed. I kept getting, "are you ok, Ruth"? Wiping the tears away, I would lie and say yes. My productivity at home was less. My hand couldn't reach my mouth fast enough consuming food to help the pain. So, even with two children still at home, I realized that I was encountering the Empty Nest feelings.

Wind the clock back to the fall my eldest went off to school. One of my friends has a real soft heart to young moms. My attitude (sorry to say) was, well I made it - so should they. But through the months, I began to realize that these young moms really have needs. So with prayer and great brainstorming, we started a MOMS group. I am a hesitant leader at best. My husband encouraged me and that is what I needed.

Set in motion was a way for me to reach out to other moms, as was done for me when my kids were little. We wanted to create a safe haven for just two hours a month where moms can leave their children safely with childcare, enjoy a breakfast they didn't fix, learning about parenting issues as well as discussion time to get to know each other. I am NOT a crafty person, but found that through crafts, it is another way for the moms to get to know each other.

Our monthly topics have been everything from "Finances" (both for your children and as wives), Husband/Wife Relationships, the Value of a Mom, Raising children in an X-rated world to Cleaning Tips. Our crafts have been fun, simple, practical - live floral arrangement, balloon making (for children parties), card-making, making inexpensive Easter baskets, decorating Christmas cookies and even learning how to sell on Ebay!

Back to my Empty Nest tears. After a couple of months of crying, I finally went to the web to find other empty nesters. To my surprise, I found the most wonderful, caring group of women all going through the same sadness I was experiencing. I wasn't alone. I signed up for one of the tele-seminars at which Natalie suggested that we think of ways to reach out, to start to build our new lives. I realized that God had given me a start by creating the MOMS group.

It is a new world, Empty Nest. No, I am not really there yet, but the pain of children flying the coup, is still there. Yes, the pain will be worse when the last one leaves, but I am praying that I will realize that my husband and I are a team, we can go on. We will go through the grieving process. My husband is already working out places to travel together. What do you think about India? I personally would like to go to Israel. I was never really a great cook, and now with the smaller family, I am branching out to cook new things. How can I grow? These are the things I am going to have to focus on. My parents let me fly, I need to remember that, and let go and let my children fly.