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In A Week

In a week, I hug my son goodbye at the dorm. I can barely write that. I just don't want to think about it. Then I thought, well, deal with it.

I love being a parent. I love his school life and his friends, but I also have things I haven't liked, like his losing things, leaving the kitchen a mess, not doing what he said he would do, talking back, not helping out.

So, if there are things we don't like about our children at times, I just wish there were ways to not ache for them to still need us and to want to stick around.

Of course I get it that they are suppose to grow up and have their own life, but I hate the sorrow. I am proud of him and wish all his dreams to come true.

Now I have to find my dreams. I have to try something that will zing me besides the life I have known, which by the way, is a great life.

I just notice I am not as ambitious as I was in my younger days. I am in my late fifties and far from over the hill, but , and this is a big one for me....I just need help getting to the starting line and figuring out what I want to stand on that will make me have a big smile.

I have planned, thanks to this web, ways to prepare and things to do when I come back to the silence and emptiness at home.
I will find my new interests and loves but oh how I don't want to think about that hug goodbye and long flight back home without him. Go son go. Go mom go...

Thanks for letting me write here,
Mary Beth