Empty Nest Support Services
My Nest Is Almost Empty
In four weeks, but who's counting, my son will not be in his room, day or night, weekday or weekend. That just doesn't seem real and still I cry just writing it to all of you. I am his mom. He is my son who is ready to live his dream of college. Proud and shocked. He was afraid to be held by strangers and now he will be living with them. Well you know what I mean. His friends that I adore will be scattered on the map, happy to begin their future. I don't know that i will see their parents. I think those school days and gatherings are over. Relationships will be different because our kids don't bring us together. Some I will see because we are true friends. Two , I guess.
I won't keep his door closed. I just won't be sitting in there or gathering stuff from the floor. He will be home for Thanksgiving. Doesn't that sound crazy, far away? It is summer. The week before he leaves we are making no plans... I am sure he will be with friends. I have planned a Sunday with family two weeks before he flies. My list is long of things to do before he leaves. It helps to be busy and feel needed for now. See, that is what changes. He needs me less. His peers have been a big influence. Good ones for sure. I talk myself out of getting immobile. I tell myself that after the first week, I will be fine. I think that might not be true. I just don't know how I will be or what I want to do with the free time. I am the kind that plans. I can't plan this emptiness. I am ok with crying. I just don't want to make a pool of it. Me the strong one, the get up and go one, might be down. I just don't know what I will be. I think that is a problem. This not knowing makes me anxious because he is my son, my baby boy. My good night moon and my morning sunshine.
Yes, I have a partner and friends and siblings and colleagues. I won't have my tall son in the other room or the school yard. No need to buy his favorite cereal. Oh, I could buy it for a care package. I will just skip that aisle in the market. At least for as long as I want to skip that aisle. I won't drive by his school, that is for sure. No need to force the falling tears. Ok enough for now. Who else is thinking about their almost empty nest? I can't be the only mom who just loves her son and is so happy for him and right now sad for me.