Empty Nest Support Services

Story of the Month Archives »

Preparing...

They say there is no reality to preparing for your baby and now there is no reality to having your baby leave home By reality I mean nothing really makes sense. I am a single parent, divorced and have read the books on the shelves about parenting. I didn't really find any that spoke to me about empty nest. I am trying to figure out that word ME...It has been some years even though I work and love my life ,that it is ME, now.

I don't like the mornings when I just make breakfast for one and even worse are the dinners where I am just not comfortable eating in a café by myself. Trader Joe's is my restaurant. I wonder if that will ever change. My daughter comes home from college in two weeks. When she comes back we talk about her. She can't hear my life or better said. SHE IS JUST NOT INTO MY LIFE. Have other mom's or dad's felt this self centered kid even when they are 20? I have my routine and then she and her stuff shows up. I guess I could not pick her up at the airport...I know that is cruel and I don't mean it. I could change the locks to the house, kidding again. Seriously I sound mean, but I like being selfish after 56 years of care taking. I love my child and am so proud of her inside and out. She is my child. I just don't think anyone wants to talk about the frustrating sides of parenting. We are suppose to be the good witch or the saints.

I am neither all the time. It is fun for about a day when she comes back home, but like I said...it is all about her. When does that change? Is it when they becomes a mom? I was taught to "count your blessings" therefore, don't complain. People won't like you. What people? Who are those people that make those rules? I feel grumpy today so thank you for letting me write you empty nesters.

I just need some guidelines on this back and forth parent, not a parent, role. I can't wait for her to see the house decorated and go out to dinner together. Yes there are good parts to her coming home. Yes I am grateful she even wants to come home. Yes, I still am glad I am her mom and she is my daughter. Now I feel guilty complaining, but does anyone know how to deal with this back and forth parenting role? Happy Holidays to all of us empty nesters!